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Through the Wormhole
"Through the Wormhole" is the tenth track from the Ziltoid the Omniscient album Dark Matters, released in 2014. As this track is entirely dialogue, it is completely absent from the Z² raw mix bonus disc. Song Credits *Lyrics and music: Devin Townsend Appearances *''Z²: Dark Matters'' (original studio recording, promo mix) *''Ziltoid Live at the Royal Albert Hall'' (live recording) Versions Through the Wormhole The original album version. Through the Wormhole (Promo Mix) The same recording as the final version, but with the original mix before Townsend changed it just prior to mastering. Through the Wormhole (Live) Available on Ziltoid Live at the Royal Albert Hall. Lyrics Ziltoid: Blattaria! War princess! I am here with my new best friends: the human beings who are now my army! And together, we shall defeat you! Captain Spectacular! Spectacular: Right here, Ziltoid! Ziltoid: Yes. Please, provide me with the weapon. (Don't do it captain, don't do it!) Ziltoid: Ha! Fooled you, poopypants! Spectacular: What?! But- butbutbut Ziltoid! Ziltoid: Yes. I have duped the humans into thinking I am on their side! Spectacular: Ziltoid, we had a deal! You signed a contract! Ziltoid: Yes, I signed it in pencil. With my left hand. I mean, you’re just so dumb, it- it hurts! Spectacular: Ziltoid, how could you do this? Ziltoid: Oh please, do you actually think that there’s anything in common between me and you, human? Spectacular: There’s more you have in common with humans than you realize. Think back to your childhood! You must know how I know! Ziltoid: What are you blathering about? Spectacular: Ziltoid, search your memories. Don’t I look familiar to you? Ziltoid: Just tell me! Spectacular: We have the same mother! Ziltoid: Whoa!! Narrator: Turns out, Captain Spectacular… is Ziltoid’s half-brother! Ziltoid: Whoa! Blattaria: Will you losers get on with it?! What are you talking about over there? Spectacular: I have something here from our mother! And she wanted you to have it. This is the universe’s ultimate coffee bean! Ziltoid: Whoa! Gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme! Spectacular: Ziltoid, you were always destined to be humanity’s last hope! Now end this! Ziltoid: Wow, this is so heavy, and unbelievably cheesy! Oh well, Planet Smasher, I command the attack! burping Whoa, what the heck! Blattaria: Ha ha ha! Nice weapon! Ziltoid: Oh crap! Blattaria: Ziltoid, I see you have a soft spot. Well, let me show you how we play in my world! Captain Spectacular, you die!! Spectacular: Ayeayeayeayeayeayeaya Ziltoid: No!! Narrator: All… seemed to be lost. Ziltoid: My brother! Narrator: What Ziltoid failed to realize is- the Planet Smasher needed his own reasons to summon his ungodly power! Ziltoid: Nooo! Narrator: The pain of his brother dying pierces his withered heart! Ziltoid: Ugh, so lame! Narrator: As Ziltoid kneels beside his fallen brother, as if in a dream, the song they’d sing together as children is all of a sudden on his lips… Ziltoid: Memories… all alone with the memories… Smasher roars Narrator: The War Princess wasn’t about to go quietly. She grabbed out, got a hold of Ziltoid, and in that moment they were both… gone! Turns out the thing the Planet Smasher hated the most… was musicals! Who saw that coming?! 1: They’re gone! We’re free! We’re free!! Captain Spectacular saved us! 2: And so did Ziltoid! Earthlings: Hip hip hooray! Narrator: So Ziltoid, the War Princess, and the Poozers are jettisoned through that hairy wormhole. The Planet Smasher, off to wherever Planet Smashers go. The musicals worked! The humans, now left alone amongst themselves to celebrate, wallowing in the sacrifice of Captain Spectacular, yet giddy in the joy of their survival, awash with the promise of their brand new world, voices raised together in celebratory blissful song. The earth sang as one- believe it, or not. Category:Ziltoid